Around here we think and write a lot about sex — hookers, casual relationships, escorts and on and on. But “real” relationships don’t typically involve sex within the first 15 minutes of meeting (what?). Real relationships often start out slowly, and both parties in it may be unsure of whether to try to move the relationship to the next level. Even if that next level is simply a kiss. This article is for women — in particular women who are wondering: how do I get him to kiss me?
Ready to bring your relationship to the next level but don’t even know when you’re going to get that much awaited kiss? Yes, that all-important kiss can be very nerve-racking but the thing is, your man is most probably feeling the same way. No matter what stage you are in your relationship, it’s important to play the field right to avoid rejection.
Look at his lips. It’s a subtle nonverbal cue that will simply not go unnoticed. Even if he doesn’t consciously realize he’s doing it, it’s a signal that he will subconsciously pick up. This subconscious cue will send him the message that you not only like looking at them, but you would enjoy experiencing them up close and personal.
Draw attention to your lips. Not only do you want to let him know you notice his lips, you want him to look at your lips as well. A bold lipstick will do this trick, but so will a few cleverly placed nonverbal cues. Putting your hand over your mouth when he says something “shocking” while laughing will draw attention. Or, if he asks you a thoughtful question, put your finger to the side of your mouth while you “pretend” to think of the answer, all the while sending the message that this is exactly where you want him to touch you.
Break the touch barrier. This is the age-old, dusting-the-fake-lint-off-his-shoulder technique that works every time. Anytime you need to get a little closer to him and he hasn’t made the move, make it yourself.
Linger. Men aren’t stupid. They know there is a certain point at the end of a date where a specific action is almost expected. If up to now he hasn’t made a move, you either haven’t given him enough interest cues or he isn’t interested. Linger at the end of the date and see where it takes you. He will know what you are waiting for to fill up that awkward space. He will either go for it, or he won’t.
Decrease the distance required to kiss you. Start with the “hug and hold” technique as suggested by Cosmopolitan magazine. This is exactly what it sounds like and is much like the linger move. When you decrease the amount of physical distance between you, it takes the pressure off of him if he is going to make the move. If it’s a first date, just say, “I’m a hugger!” and then give him a hug at the end of the date. But hold for a minute or two, just to look in his eyes and let him know you had a great time. He’ll know what you want.
Ask him when he’s going to kiss you.If it’s been a few dates, then you know he is interested, or he wouldn’t be here with you. If he has still not made the move, he’s probably the shy guy. Just ask him, “So, when are you going to kiss me?” It goes back to that confidence factor men love with women. It will show him that you are interested, and if he’s interested, he will probably laugh it off with relief and make his move. If he doesn’t, then you know where you stand and can stop waiting for this guy to take the next step.
The Bottom Line
When it comes to kissing, he wants to go for it as much as you want him to, but he’s not going to take that step if there is any risk of rejection or humiliation. You can make his job so much easier by setting the right tone that gives him nothing but green lights to go for it.
And, if you’ve set the scene just right and he still hasn’t gone for it, chances are unfortunately, he may just not want to. If that’s the case, don’t push the situation yourself, or you will be the one winding up feeling rejected and humiliated. Know your man and set the cues, and you should have no problem getting him to take your dating life to the next level.
Related to the first kiss is the first date. Read this article for some first date tips.